You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Randomize
