I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
