...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Four minutes until I can fart!
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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