i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Randomize
