did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
