i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
