Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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