I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
