If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
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