he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
