apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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