sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
