dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
