well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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