Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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