It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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