yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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