jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize
