"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
