btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
