It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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