I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
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