ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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