fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
