Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
