she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
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