It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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