can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
The air taste purple.
Randomize