Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Randomize
