Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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