I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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