I'm really into asian looking animals
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Randomize
