Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Randomize
