Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
