So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
No more Irish car bombs ever.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
