I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize