Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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