I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Randomize
