I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize
