and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
