you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
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