Apparently you make a good broom.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
