He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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