I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
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