Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
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