whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
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