yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
