I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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