In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Randomize
