nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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