Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Randomize
