I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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