Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
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