we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
