she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
