I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Randomize
