How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
